Where am I..day 4?

I think it's day 4 post op.

I feel better every day.  Haven't napped during the days (at all, I suck at napping).  I went to my gramma's for a few hours to spend time with the girls.  Today was the first day I drove and all I kept thinking was how much damage an airbag would do if I were to get into an accident.  Massive amounts of damage.

Morgan had the biggest smile EVER on her face when she saw me.  And she's cruising now!  In 5 days she's learned to walk up/down the sofa.  She had not been doing that at all before.  Peyton said "that's my mommy!"  She really wanted to come home with me but it was nap time and NO WAY can I lift her out of the car.  Tj will pick her up later.  Sleeping in the bed with her should be fun...NOT.  Im scared to death.

I showed her my stomach and I told her this is what happened because mommy wouldn't let anyone help her go pee pee.  Horrible, I know.  But it's true she will have an awful incision from surgery if she doesn't let us start to cath her!

Cath kits are all here our first month supply, the boxes are huge!!



This was from last night..


I was so uncomfortable sleeping last night.  I was hot and cold and this and that and just ugh!  I did NOT get my drain out.  It was 55cc on Wed and 43cc on Thur soo just above the cutoff.  The dr I saw said he would take it out but that my dr who was in the OR wants it under 30cc.  If it were to come out too soon that would mean I could possibly need a giant needle shoved into my lower abdomen to draw out the fluid, etc.

I don't want that to happen so I will just suck it up and leave them in for the weekend.

I have been pretty blah today.  I'm feeling better now but this morning I wanted to cry over everything.  I am having a little bit of regret for doing it even though I know it was necessary (for me), etc.

I'm not able to stand up straight still and the only new development is that the majority of my stomach/abdomen is super tingly today.  It's almost itchy kind of annoying, feels really really weird.

So I guess I just need to make it through the weekend somehow (with the girls, ahhhh) and get to Monday and get the drain out and go on from there.

I also find myself reading horror stories and seeing awful pictures of complications and FREAKING OUT that it might happen to me.  I'm terrified at this point!